My nightmare

It all began this morning as my cell phone for work rang out in my hallway. I bolted up and realized my alarm did not go off and the driver for my trip to the airport was here. I jumped out of bed and threw on clothes and ran out the door. I'd been up very late finishing packing and cleaning up my house because my parents were going to stay here while I was gone. As I was in the town car I started checking to ensure everything was in my purse and my passport was missing! I've been in a panic for the last 8 hours since this discovery.

I had my passport yesterday as I was travelling around doing a few last minute errands. I had it zipped into my wallet. I remember because I moved it two times while I was out and about to get a credit card out. Today its vanished. I called every place I went and no one has turned it in. I've looked in the parking lots I went to. I looked through my car. I've cleaned my house, unpacked all of my bags, sorted through trash even and still no passport. I can't leave without it. I have a photocopy only, and I doubt that would be sufficient to get into a country requiring a separate visa!

I called the sheriff's department today and reported it lost or stolen. I'm just praying it shows up somehow. If its not found by tomorrow I will report it lost or stolen to the government which means if I do find it, it is unusable and I have to get a new one. I've had two friends offer to come help look through my house, Erin is on her way now and maybe she can see something I've missed. Otherwise I'll be on the phone cancelling reservations and sending an apology to my coworkers for not coming at the last minute, yet AGAIN! Grrrr.....

This has been one of the most frustrating and panicked days of my life. I feel so bad that I am missing my flights and cancelling a trip that was already cancelled once. This was the make up for that first cancellation. I just feel like everyone will think I'm an idiot for losing it. Then again I'd rather be dumb for losing it and not having it be stolen which is scarier. My only consolation is that my Dad called today and said he kept waking up last night feeling there was something wrong with me and worried about me. He just kept praying for me. He said maybe I wasn't supposed to travel to China right now. I've been praying all day that the God of all miracles who can do anything would make my passport miraculously appear so I could travel and it hasn't. There must be a reason. I know that I need to rest in God's will in this matter and trust how this has been orchestrated, but I'm really struggling to understand why this has happened? I just recall one story from women's retreat recently where a mom just felt her daughter was in danger and was praying and praying for her, and when she finally got a hold of her her fears were true. Her daughter had had a crazy experience with a mugger and was totally shaken but safe. Maybe I'm being protected from something I can't see?